Coffee and TV

Wednesday February 21st 2018

Plain Digestive Thins are the new zeitgeist biscuit of choice. Being thin indicates they aren’t as unhealthy which means I can consume several in one go can’t I? I know this because my great mate Andy has popped round for the morning bearing gifts including the aforementioned edible treats. I am now a convert to the Latter Day Church of McVitie.

The only disappointment in Andy visiting is that he hasn’t brought me any small plastic sheep, which is a joke only he will understand. He also brings the exciting news that Goldfinches have been spotted in his garden, of which I am hugely envious, so either they are slowly making their way over from Barlestone or he’s a liar. I enjoy having visitors on a Wednesday, it breaks the week up nicely and when it;s one of your oldest mates then life becomes wholly bearable again. Three hours evaporate in a verbal smog of nonsense and I’m hugely grateful for his company.

The rest of the day is spent in a bit of a slumber, the nausea still won’t leave me be and as much as I love seeing my friends, it does take a lot of energy from me. Company is my personal Kryptonite. Besides, Kerry is out until late on account of seeing *that* film…you know the one…the cinematic advert for cable ties. Yeah, that one.

I help myself to more Digestive Thins to occupy myself.

Thursday February 22nd 2018

Wow…we already towards the end of the month and I’m just starting to feel that bit brighter despite being required to stab myself in the groin with more GCS-F. It’s weird, but I don’t even have to think about it now, it all seems perfectly natural. Too natural.

Although the nausea is passing, the tiredness and general malaise isn’t. My hair continues to leave like lemmings off a cliff top and my peripheral neuropathy is becoming worse. Yes, my peripheral neuropathy, have we not discussed this yet? Well, in laypersons terms, it’s a tingling sensation in your extremities or in my case, my fingertips. Basically, its permanent pins and needles and the worse it gets, the more difficult it becomes to type, hold things and jab small children in the face. It’s yet another side effect of the chemo and one I was expecting as the toxins I have gleefully consumed have caused nerve damage. Hopefully, the sensation will slowly disappear over time and by Xmas I should be able to happily poke small children in the face again.

I spend the remainder of my day studying and undertaking family tree research, which may not sound thrilling but when you’ve been cooped up indoors since Monday then you take your fun where you can find it. Oh…and we go to Tesco. Go us!

Friday February 23rd 2018

Now this is more like it, today I am taking my first steps back into civilization. I aim to see life in all its glorious multi-coloured facets and breathe in the cultural and spiritual air of the world around me. My plan is to live life to the maximum for a few hours. In other words, I’m getting on a bus. As you can probably tell, I have been under house arrest for too long, the seemingly endless Winter doing little to appease my sense of foreboding so now is an opportunity to run my eye over what has been happening in downtown Leicester and meet up with my mate Dave for a coffee or two.

Two hours later and I feel like a different person. There is a scene in the Shawshank Redemption where Tim Robbins breaks into the Warders office and plays ‘Duettino – Sull’aria’ from Mozart’s ‘The Marriage of Figaro’ which enables the inmates to mentally flee their captive walls and belong elsewhere. This is exactly how I feel right now. I have transcended the four walls of my house and am living life in glorious technocolour in St Martin’s coffee-house. Dave is great company, as always. We discuss football, cricket, his recent trip to Australia and he very kindly gets me not one, but two of the best cappuccinos you can buy in Leicester.

When we separate two hours later I feel revived, refreshed and returning to my usual self and I’m grateful to Dave for playing such an important part in this transformation. Or perhaps it was the caffeine, yeah probably the caffeine. I meet up with Kerry and we spend 45 minutes in the pub…I know, it’s like all my prayers have been answered and I’m getting high on the intoxicating fumes of freedom. I’m still not allowed any dry-roasted nuts though.

By the time we get home it feels like I’ve lived a month in a few, short hours. It’s strange how life slows to a glacial pace when you’re at home all day and it’s quite intimidating dipping your toes back into ‘normal’ life again; it’s also absorbing and exhilarating. I make a curry and settle back feeling as happy with life as I can possibly be under the circumstances. Today has been a great day, one to squirrel away into the memory banks for when I inevitably feel low and insecure. Oh…and rumour has it there’s snow on the way.

Saturday February 24th 2018

Lincoln lose. England lose. I feel rubbish.

So much for the high of yesterday, the old adage is correct, what goes up must come down and so it is with me. The downside to having so much fun yesterday is the realisation that I have to pay for it by feeling sluggish and general ropey today as my body tries to come to terms with me being so pro-active and yet another bout of SMITSWASFOD. On the plus side, the rest of my medication is now complete for another cycle and it’s left to my toxin-addled insides to sort themselves out in time to start it all over again on March 9th.

Jayne from over the road generously delivers me a bottle of red, thus proving that some people are reading this blog carefully; although I am still awaiting delivery of my new TV and/or leaf hoover. You have been warned. My general sense of unease today isn’t helped by sleeping with an extra high pillow last night. As a result I have a neck which barely operates and I’m walking around the house in considerable pain and looking like Marvin the Paranoid Android.

Yesterday has had a positive impact though. My sites are being set slightly further afield than merely the next round of chemo on March 9th and the Checkatrade Trophy Final on April 8th; I want to go back to work as soon as I can be of use. Kerry and myself agree a plan, we will book in to see Linda the chemo nurse when we next visit the Infirmary, armed with a long list of questions so we can begin the process of planning our immediate future. This isn’t just about me, it’s also about Kerry and providing her with some respite and a target to look forward to before she spontaneously combusts. As fantastic as she has been throughout this process, she needs a break and an opportunity to pay a fortune to have hot stones put on her back.

In my own head, I have a timescale I’m working towards, of course I have, I’m a Project Manager after all. But the meeting with Linda will be a chance to road test these ideas armed with such questions as “Can I start on a phased return to work”, “When is the likely start date for my radiotherapy” and most important of all “When can I start to eat sausage rolls again?”

Actually the most exciting moment of today is the arrival of a stranger in our garden, a pied wagtail has called in to check out the local scene and then disappeared just as quickly. He’s no goldfinch but a further sign that Spring is around the corner although so is ‘The Beast From The East’ apparently.

Happiness Rating 6.5

Goldfinch Sightings: Only in Barlestone (allegedly)

Track of the Day: Blur – ‘Coffee and TV’